Those 4 am Feels Yo…..Phone Is Ringin……

Oh mgawd-get it togetha………some hip hop transitional back track as I slide in with some Gumballology.

Some of the coolest shit happens when you least expect it. Ive been working very hard with phoenetics with the 2 1/2 year old and constant music exposure to both of them. It freaking WORKS. Yesterday we did the “Say I” “I” “Love”…..you get the point.

As I am wiping my eyes in the kitchen trying to determine if that duration counts as sleep….technically yes as it was deemed “longer than a nap whic should be approximately 52 mins beginning to end to give your brain and body a boost to get through the remainder of the day and well into the nite life-but dammit….there wd go again…..

I am not sure what to call the broken rotation of trips to the bathroom or sleeping-only to be kicked in the face by an almost 3 year old having a nightmare or a 7 month old biting that spot between your bicept and the top of the armpit. Or barking dogs or snoring or whatever is going on…..I would use headphones, but I dont ha e any that will allow me to not only comfortably be worn throughout the night, but ensure I can hear If I have to. Please-do not suggest Aragato buds or whatever the fruit vendor phone mogul offers. Im not interested in apple product, I am sure they are great…..the bass sounds amazing…..

I am sure it does-to all the kids who like house and trance and shit. I like it….but do you hear it at -800 Mhz or FEEL it at that depth. Its a difference. Again…..off topic

He (toddler fu schnickens) is sitting on corner and says “papa….” “yes boog” “i love youuuuu” i about shit myself. It was bloen away….it was 530 am…..and i got to hear it. Was awesome!!! He is becoming quite the goober and I know his granparents who are living and those who are not….have will and do love their grand children so so much-i lromise you kids, they did…..and they do!

The wild thing is some of the stuff I have been coming up with lately. One thing that really has me happy is I recently realized that I can let go of the suffering, and continue to grieve-but to accept loss on both accords. Therefore allowing me to rewrite history with the babies. No it isnt why I had more kids…..mind ya business lol.

Instead of “gpa would do this, say that, move like this” whatever it was….I can show them. Broken somethin….fixit. I learned a lot of skills from that man and i didnt show enough to my oldest son, nor did i to my daughter with regards to my mom. They know how I am….and they know who I am too. So instead of missing those thi gs “like mushroom hunting” I will do those things…..its my chance of a lifetime.

Stay Strong; Stay Focused; Stay Sober