But….Is It Realllllly Though??

Hey guys, last blog was about our travel, so it would only behoove me to change it up right?

I have had a lot of time with my children in the last year. Have gotten to know them quite well, and seem to pretty well have their behaviors, habits and likes down pretty well. Can tell when they are fake versus real crying, hurt or attention seeking, hungry or pestering. Long story short however, I know my two smallest ones pretty darn well. Parenting is NOT HARD when you do what you have to do to take care of your kids. If you want to know how hard it isn’t well you gotta read to believe right.

Lets start with diapers, dookie and a whole lot more-shall we? This “soul” journey that the family is on, definitely is a challenge to some of us in the household. A lot of emotion due to boredom, many….many…..MANY hours together in the same home, disagreements about television programs, hormones, testosterone deficiency, testosterone production, estrogen…..name it. It happens, all the time, and is non- stop. But, that that’s normal everyday stuff so we all understand it. And, it is in short bursts so it is tolerable.

Our journey was a “right time right place” plan “C” decision that I don’t think we necessarily justified, but we saw things happening in our area that kinda made us think about sticking around. Increased crime in our neighborhood after new apartments coming into the same area, was just a small piece of the writing on the wall. Eventually, our cute and protected neighborhood WILL be over run by crime, people with lower integrity and overall a lower wage demographic, bringing a substantiation of petty crime and thievery. Not an opinion, it WILL happen, I have seen it alot in my seventeen analytical years. Things don’t just “happen” overnight. I spent my last night in the home watching the once pleasant, unopinionated and friendly people in my neighborhood become true assholes in a matter of years. And it showed how much the pandemic, among other things, took its toll on society. Ultimately leading to our decision to sell and relocate.

I say sell and relocate, because we didn’t “move” yet. We are trying it out. But really, that whole part isn’t what I am trying to focus on here-makes for a great prompt to revisit for later entertainment though. I really wanna talk about poopy diapers.

If you are a parent, you know that shit happens and we cannot avoid it. Most people have already browsed past the boring stuff at this point looking for profanity. Shit happens, not everyone reads my stuff either, all the way through is even less common. A few days ago (you will see it next month from the exact date) we had a moment where my wife needed to run to the store for some items we had run out of. We have a baby, another potty training, and one freshly out of diapers (he’s four…..yes i know….we are almost done with the two year old mind ya bidness). Mom’s and dads know whats coming next……..

Tire transfers from driveway to road and the mili-second the radial belted rubber kissed the sun emblazoned,stone embellished concrete of the road……..WORLD WAR FUCKING III! The baby starts screaming her head off, my son is running around with a half eaten bag of fruit flavored candy and throwing them behind him at me like they are donuts and I am a cop (love you fam) and as I am chasing him around the couch with a screaming baby, my daughter walks from her BEDROOM in what looks like the results of saying “I Don’t Know” in the old Nickelodeon show…head to toe covered in ” …….enough buildup?

SHIT! so much happening all at once that any sane person would lose their mind…..I know I sure did…..”SCREW TH”………” wait. I have run compressions at 70 mph from Kalamazoo to Lansing in the back of a police car……and I am worried about cleaning up some babyshit and listening to some crying. Turns out that of the 3….only one had to sacrifice…and it was only temporary……OH-and of the 3, I was the one that sacrificed-because it is my duty to do so. Did I get frustrated, flustered, upset, annoyed, angry, pissed? Sure TF did-you probably had a little in you that hoped I did get all those things don’t ya……

I also got worried, scared, concerned, confused….but it wasn’t “hard” to parent, nor was it hard to change my mindset. Why? Well, I have six kids and to me this is a Tuesday morning before my wife has had her coffee…..and before I even sleep for the first time in three days (you’d expect more content on here if I am awake so much huh)…..and today I write about it. It has been a few days, but realize…I am a month behind on blogging, so you really aren’t missing anything anyway-this is a filler paragraph by the way, and I left this sentence in here so you can see how my brain works. But “why” those emotions specifically?

Why didn’t I act on the other emotions, and divert to fear, concern or confusion? TRUST in my partner. And they trust me. Hasn’t been easy given the long past, but the transparency was imperative. And I have worked to rework friendships, but its too late. It’s okay-live your life. You, as am I, are different people now. A different skill set, different needs, different desires. All I wanted was a fucking alpaca ranch and some GOD DAMN RAVIOLI! But, the Martians said Yeet and the peel hit the roadmap……still listening? Good-

Worried that my wife would have to turn around and come home if I even give her a shred of indication that she needs to come back and be mom. Folks, she does so many things in this world for people, don’t even try to tell her that one of her kids is ________fill in the blank, if it is along the lines of hurt/tired/scared etc…..she will cancel a family vacation-not her babies, uh uh no effin way….she needed to get away….she needed to GO away, but SHE needed to get away. She needed a break. She took the teen with her too, the one I can usually have hang out until this stuff happens and subsides, then just kinda hangs around if I need his assistance. My crutch…..but he too needs to get out and do stuff. It’s important because before I came in like Miley on a ball and chain….it was just them.

THAT makes it a little more “worth” the difficulty of the parenting that I am getting around to talking about. Scared…what if something happens to ME while I am caring for them, I mean she is ten years younger than me, in much better shape physically and has good blood pressure. WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO THEM???? This is a valid fear.

While we were in St Louis, I had a friend of mine launching #FLAKEDEMIC; a website he developed and created as a creative project and has since started to gain traction. His official launch was in Kansas City, I much rather would have launched this tour off during spring training to an area a little more alluring than Missouri, but I have a friend to help out……..but I won’t leave the fam behind to go visit because I am too scared scared.

Confused as to why, this always happens, to me. In all my years as a dad, on a truck, in my life etc….I cannot, nor will I ever be able to handle other human waste. Just….can’t……

Regardless, the end opportunity here is simply this. Even with all of the frustrations of travel, kids, contracts, legality, boosting the business that is more than a hobby as most of you seem to think it is, and above all GRINDING!!!!!!!! I want to say this; I am very thankful everyday when I open my eyes and know that I have another day working for myself, from a safe and happy home, with the people I love. When I am away, I appreciate this life even more, and this life has given purpose, another opportunity at success, and an unbridle appreciation for the fact that parenting isn’t hard….it’s just kind of a poopy diaper sometimes.

ss; sf; ss